Break-up

Blogspot, break na tayo.
Kami na ni Wordpress.

:p
Yeah. I don't like to put drama in goodbyes...

Visit me here:
http://psychosomaticaddictinsane.wordpress.com/

I'm sick again. :( Sakitin ampotah. Siguro kasi I wasn't breastfed when I was little. Pero Milo Kid naman ako. Batang Star Margarine pa. :\

It was Sunday after lunch when I felt my temperature rising. Punyeta, 40 degrees! I called my Sup and told him I wouldn't be able to go work the following day. So there. Hindi na ako nagmamartyr-martyran masyado na even if I'm sick, I still drag my ass to work. Hmmm... well, at least not much nemore. I managed to go to work earlier, with a supply of all sorts of pain reliever.

I feel the pain crawling up my left back again. It's not the kind of mind-blowing pain I felt last July, but it's enough to scare me and trigger me to ask for repentance for all the possible causes of the pain's comeback.

Last year, the doctor said the causes of my SP were the following: stress, puyat, and overfatigue. Susmariosep, obvious na work ang salarin. Kaya nga nagresign eh. So now? I can't say my new work's been stressing me. Well, yeah, but not much. Pag Wednesday lang. Calibration kasi.

I could only think of one reason why I've been stressed, sleep-deprived, and tired as of late.

Fukk. I hate that everything has to have a price. But for my health, I'd give up anything and anybody. Or something and someone.

According to my entry last July 9,

"In the past 11 days, I have experienced two of the most painful things any
human being could ever experience.

Pneumonia and heartbreak."

Ang kulit ko naman kasi. I should really stop being a masochist. People should also stop being sadists. Ano ba. Stop tolerating me! Stop taking advantage of my weakening self-control! :p

Anyway, to kick off some patches of stress, we watched Stardust last night. Akalain mo 'yun. Nakatungtong ako uli sa sinehan. At take note, sa ATC pa. The movie was cute. Witch si Michelle Pfiffer. Bading si Robert de Niro. Usual hard to achieve pretty girl si Sienna Miller *drools*. Cute si Tristan, but not my type. (Mark Ruffalo's character in 13 Going on 30 pa rin! Haha, surprising choice?) Si Claire Danes, gusto ko pa rin bugbugin, pero hunos-dili muna ako since I like her role in Stardust. Remember, I LOVE stars? May claim pa ako na the closest to the moon is MINE. (Pwera sa sun.) Parang may pinupunit na parte ng puso ko when she professed her love for Tristan the rodent. Why? Eh hopeless romantic ako eh. Break it down. I'm hopeless and I'm romantic. *tee-hee* Gah. Watch the movie na nga lang.

I just rememembered, if only Ate Dona could read this, matatawa na naman sa akin yun.
PINUPUNIT NA PARTE NG PUSO?
I don't think naka-get over na siya sa hirit ko na, "sasabog na ang puso ko" and "masisiraan na ako ng bait"

I think i better sleep now. Puyat lang 'to. :)

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I know I've been blogging a whole lotta nonsense entries lately. I'm deliberately doing it. I just don't want you to be part of my life's drama... yet.

Hollowblocks and Butterflies

Main Entry: Hollowblock Moment
Function: noun
Date: 2006

1 : a moment of pain, fear, anxiety, or anger
2 : a time when the chest is heaving with a negative feeling as heavy as a hollowblock
3 : Iya's sasabog ang puso moment

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My Hollowblock Moments this week:

Wednesday and Thursday nights. Same shit, different day. Same person, different feeling. There is a reason why I hate C5 and why I always make sure my cellphone batt won't get empty. (9 hollowblocks)

Angela telling me that our fave male cousin got into a vehicular accident. I was informed he fractured his jaw and he needs an operation. However, when I called him in his mobile, he was still the one who answered the phone. He doesn't need an operation he said, because he can move his jaw. Potah. Ang daldal pa nga eh. *whew* Thank God Kuya Edmund's ok. (10 hollowblocks)

Former company not giving me the COE format that I specifically requested. Ah tangina. I feel like bitchslapping Ms. Navarro back to hell. (8 hollowblocks)

My last day of classes in PHCM. I hate buh-bye's. This is the type of buh-bye without a see-you-later. =( (7 hollowblocks)

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Main Entry: Butterfly Attack
Function: noun
Date: 2007

1 : a moment of happiness or euphoria
2 : uber kilig experience

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This week's Butterfly Attacks:

*bleep bleep* Bleep bleep nga sabi eh. (5 butterflies, 5 fireflies :p)

Itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang KING has a crush on me daw. Amazing. I don't know yet if this is true. I'll know next week. I can't wait for that lunch date. :p If the chismis isn't true, keri lang. It's not like I have a crush on him, too. But well, yeah, he IS cute. And smart. And he can write!!! At ang pinaka-importante sa lahat, SINGULAR siya! Hahahaha. (8 butterflies)

Single like L. Itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Lim. I'm not yet sure if he's half-Chinese. He used to date my friend's ex-gf. So ang gulo. But he's persistent and I like that. Pero mas gusto ko 'yung idea na ikukuha n'ya ako ng something sa somewhere kahit hindi naman kami close. Haha. And did I mention he's single? Mwehehe. (7 butterflies)

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Now I'm just waiting for the perfect Hollowblock-Butterfly Moment. I can sense it. Coming closer.

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listening to: Dogstar - Goodbye

A Goodbye and An Ultimatum

Sad sad.

Coach said it's his last day with us today. Major kadramahan moment over Starbucks lattes and frappes. Kasi naman. We thought he'd leave us on the 15th pa. Tapos, he declared this afternoon na he has to go back to his account already. Hiniram lang kasi s'ya ng recruitment sa Operations. :( Wala na. Graveyard shift na s'ya uli starting tomorrow. :(

Anyhoodles, it's not like iiwan na n'ya kami forever or sinusundo na s'ya ni Lord. Magkaka-iba lang kami ng "time zone".

Semi-goodbye lang, pero ouch pa rin. :~( Penge nga ng Kleenex.

Since nasa usapang goodbye na tayo, dapat yata magset na ako ng ultimatum. Nahihirapan na ako. Baka atakihin na ako sa puso or magka-cancer na ako sa pag-supress ng mga bagay-bagay. Wala itong kinalaman sa work, family, barkada, spiritual life, and school. So, I guess that leaves
us with 2 popular choices. Pili ka na lang kung ano. L-word one or L-word two? :p

Punyetang ultimatum ito. The last time I set a serious ultimatum was sometime 2004. September 21 yata 'yung na-set ko na date. The day arrived and what I was waiting for didn't. Yung kasama ko pa uminom, nagrequest pa sa waiter na patugtugin 'yung What Might Have Been. Darkness! Killer talaga! Ang ending? Naglasing yata ako sa Katipunan. Hahaha. But I'm stronger now. Hindi na ako maglalasing...

Manlalalake na lang ako!

Sama ka?

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listening to: Rihanna feat Ne-Yo - Hate That I Love You

Nothing is BTS.

It's bad enough that there's BTS in Gayuma. Bona Cafe has BTS, too.

For those of you who do not know, BTS means Better Than Sex. Clearly, there is nothing better than sex. So, this cake is purely kalokohan. It's just Devil's Foodcake baptized with a misleading name.

They better rename it to BWS, BBS, or BAS. Basta not BTS!

I repeat, there is nothing better than sex. Except for more sex! (Haha, I'm not being promiscuous. This is an inside joke.)

Fine. There is something better.

LOVE.

But not today!

Lauren,

If you're as good as Anj, you would have stalked me back now.

Here's the thing, make time for your boyfriend!!! uTANG na loob! Don't act as if you're the only one who has a career, a hectic sched, and pressing priorities. Tangina mo! We're no different in that aspect. It's just that, I know how to manage my time and you fucking don't.

Don't even dare tell me that the distance is killing you. San Francico and Paranaque, understandable. Sydney and Quezon City, understandable. But if we're talking about two cities in Metro Manila..... Tsk, tsk! You self-centered little bitch. If you really love your boyfriend, you'd think isang cartwheel lang ang distance n'yan! Whatever happened to meeting halfway? How about going the extra mile?

What is it that you want? What is it that you really need? Kasama pa ba s'ya? If you don't want him anymore, if you don't need him anymore, let him go.

Let go of him now because I don't think I can give him up.

-- Elizabeth

Pinprick

"I guess that's how you started like a pinprick to my heart but at this point you rush right through me and I start to drown... My bitter pill to swallow is the silence that I keep that poisons me I can't swim free the river is too deep."

Indigo Girls - Ghost

Oh the planned randomness!

Vincent asked me, "Why do you have a devilish smile?"
My new mobile no. is 09178666*** It's my Lucy Line. >:p

I need to get get my Certificate of Employment and Quit Claim from my previous company.
I miss hardcore teaching. But I don't miss the take home work. And I soooooo definitely don't miss Magister!

Zac Efron is the shit.
Shit si Britney Spears!

T-Pain's Bartender reminds me so much of The Afterparty. This reminds me, I should see him soon. I owe him breakfast. And he owes me an explanation. Nyahaha.

I want to cook breakfast for someone. This person does not owe me anything.

May gusto ako sipain sa mukha kasi hindi marunong magreply.
Last Tuesday ko pa tinetext.
Pakkshet. Baka patay na siya?

Please, if you know G, let me know if he's still alive. If he still is, please kill him for me.

Me: Kaw May, nakapagcheat ka na sa bf mo?
May: Hindi PA! Ikaw Pat?
Pat: Oo! Kaso lang, sa panget pa. As in. Saksakan ng panget. Pero mabait.
Me: Sana kung magchi-cheat dun ka na lang sa gwapo na masama ang ugali!
Pat: Eh ikaw, Iya, have you ever cheated?
Me: Never.
May: Ulul!
Me: Never nga!
Pat: Ano ka. Eh si 30 mins ka eh!
May: haha. Thirty minutes! Yan na tawag ko sa'yo!
Me: Naman, 45 nga!

Numbers, numbers...
I surpassed the qualified applicants quota today. I needed -2. Yes, negative 2. I qualified 12. But I'm behind when it comes to call outs. Like behind 54 calls. =\ I can't finger the phonepad properly like I can with the biometrics kasi eh. Hahahaha!

I wasted 5 important days because of afterwork. Well, it's not entirely my fault. Wait. It's NOT my fault. It's not my fault I'm a girl.

I need a VL. Take me away, then blow my theory apart.

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listening to: T-Pain -Bartender

It's ending...

Just give it up. There is nothing to let go.

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listening to : Fliter - Take a Picture

You make me feel like playing the part.

There's a part that I've been avoiding to play for years. It's the part that would require me to bare who I am. Bare all of me! The known and the hidden. I have never let anyone of your kind to unravel my complexities and obscurities, but there is something about you that comforts me and gives me confidence.

If I play the part, will you understand the spectrum of my thoughts? Will you fathom the depth of my curious soul? Will you breathe on my nape and tell me that you don't understand but will try to do so?

Or will you open your eyes but fail to see?

If you see me and see through my brokenness, I will heal faster than a wound kissed. I will soar higher than a shining angel. I will embrace your set of strengths and scars. I will cradle you in my love. I will not give up on you and letting go will never be an option for me.

Oh, you make me feel like playing the part.

And for you, I might just live it.

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listening to: Dishwalla - Every Little Thing